


5 Tips For Seducing Your Man

by AmbiguouslyGayBagginshield



Series: Out of Sight, Out of Mind [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Blind Bilbo, Blind Character, Blind!Bilbo, Fluff, Humor, Humour, M/M, Modern AU, Teen AU, Teen Romance, tiny bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 01:22:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1409806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbiguouslyGayBagginshield/pseuds/AmbiguouslyGayBagginshield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo 'accidentally' listens to a radio broadcast called, '5 Tips For Seducing Your Man', and decides to employ them to seduce his boyfriend, Thorin. So maybe he doesn't get the tips bang on, but what's the worst that could happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Tips For Seducing Your Man

**Author's Note:**

> (Not 'underage' where I'm from (UK)).

Bilbo adjusted his oversized jumper, dropping it over his shoulder. Thorin was coming over this afternoon and he was gonna get some. Bilbo had accidentally listened to a Cosmo Radio programme, ‘5 tips for seducing your man’, and decided to hell with it. He could do this.

There was a knock on the front door. It was Thorin. His boyfriend had a weirdly distinctive knock; it was loud and oddly rhythmic. ‘I’m coming’ he shouted stopping in front of the door. He ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it a little, before opening the door wide.

‘Hey bub’ Thorin greeted, kissing his cheek as he walked in. Bilbo closed the door behind the teen. Right time to put the steps into action. ‘Would you like something to drink?’ he asked.

‘Oooh, yes please. I’m parched.’ Bilbo grinned heading towards the kitchen. Thorin chucked his coat over a chair in the living room, switching the television on with the remote. He fell back into the sofa, sighing before laying an arm over the back of the sofa. Bilbo’s sofa was so comfy.

After a few minutes Bilbo appeared next to him, holding a sealed coffee cup. The blind boy used sealed cups so that he didn’t spill anything while carrying it. Thorin thanked his boyfriend as he sat to his left. Bilbo pushed his fingers into the other teen’s hair.

Thorin smiled at him, a little confused by his touch. He raised the cup to his lips, expecting his normal milky tea…that was not what he got. Instead he was greeted by a sharp, tangy juice. He swallowed, pulling a face. ‘Is that pomegranate juice?’ Thorin questioned.

‘Yeah, don’t you like it?’ Bilbo looked a little hurt. In honesty Thorin didn’t like the juice but he wasn’t about to hurt Bilbo’s feelings.

‘Sure I do, it’s fine it’s just I was expecting tea’ he said smiling at Bilbo in a way that he hoped looked genuine. He took another sip. Yep it’s confirmed, he fucking hates pomegranate juice. Thorin waited for an explanation of the juice but when none came he just shrugged putting the mug on the coffee table in front of him to avoid having to drink more.

Thorin leant back into the sofa. Before he was even properly settled in his seat Bilbo was all over him. It was not that unusual for them the cuddle but this was more than usual. Bilbo’s chin was rested on Thorin shoulder as he stroked Thorin’s hand. He wasn’t watching the TV, despite not being able to see it Bilbo usually looked in the direction of the television when they watched it together. But today Thorin seems to have all Bilbo’s attention.

It was making him feel a little uncomfortable, like he’d suddenly been put on the spot. He turned to look at him, their faces a few centimetres away from each other. Thorin’s nose bumped into Bilbo’s. He smiled slightly and kissed him briefly before settling down and turning back to the TV.

After a little while, Thorin started to feel hungry. ‘You hungry bub?’ Thorin asked turning to his boyfriend, who’d eventually stopped staring at him. He shrugged a little in response, his jumper falling lower on his shoulder.

‘There’s some popcorn in the cupboard or there’s crisps in there too’ Bilbo made a motion as though to move when Thorin stopped him with his hand.  
‘I got it’ he said, heading to the kitchen. Thorin decided to go for crisps, popcorn would take too long, it wouldn’t fit the adverts time. They were exactly where Bilbo had said they were. Pulling a bowl from a cupboard he started to open the packets, tipping them into the bowl.

Suddenly Thorin felt arms encircling his waist. He jumped out of his skin. And no matter what Bilbo says, he defiantly did not squeak. As he was ‘not squeaking’ he dropped an open packet, crisps falling all across the counter.

‘You scared the shit out of me’ Thorin exclaimed. ‘What are you doing?’ he huffed pulling the arms from around his waist as he started to clean up the mess. He heard a sigh, turning to see Bilbo’s retreating form.

Bilbo was acting a little strange, he thought. He was quiet, not really himself. Thorin returned to his seat, holding the bowl. This time Bilbo did not fawn all over Thorin as he had before. That didn’t mean he wasn’t acting a little odd. He kept of pulling at his jumper; he was going to mess up the collar if he kept pulling it like that.

His boyfriend leant into the teen, his bare shoulder rubbing against Thorin’s hoodie covered shoulder. Thorin paused from eating, his thumb still in his mouth as he turned to look at Bilbo whose eyes were focused straight ahead. He felt the teen’s hand slide down his thigh to his knee, squeezing it. Ok, this was getting more than a bit odd. Thorin place the bowl alongside his mug.

‘Bilbo……. what are you doing?’ He asked cautiously, not a hundred percent on whether he wanted to know the answer.

‘Nothing. What? What would I be doing?’ Bilbo replied at the speed in which only a guilty person would answer. Nervously tucking curls behind his ear, he wrapped his arms around his body. He pulled his oversized blue sweater tighter around himself, pulling it back over his shoulder as he leant away from his boyfriend, turning his face back to the TV which was currently showing an advert for broadband. What was the point?

Thorin sat, back straight against the sofa. He frowned, his eyes wandered around the room as though he could find the answer to Bilbo’s odd behaviour in the living room, perhaps behind the bookshelf or under the coffee table. Bilbo had gone from odd to annoyed now. Thorin could see it on Bilbo’s face but most of all he could feel it. He could feel the distance between them and it made him feel cold.

Thorin sighed, the room felt awkward. It shouldn’t feel awkward when he was with Bilbo. The teen leant forward, grabbing the remote and putting the TV on mute. He chucked the remote onto the sofa as he turned to face Bilbo.

‘Why did you turn the TV off? We’re going to watch Come Dine With Me’ Bilbo huffed. Honestly if Thorin was going to be this oblivious to his advances he should at the very least be able to listen to people bitch about each other inability to cook.

‘No we’re not. We are going to talk about whatever is bothering you’

‘Nothing’ Bilbo replied, sounding very much like a petulant tween. He reached behind Thorin, hand searching for the remote. ‘Hey’ Thorin grabbed his wrists but Bilbo persisted. After a little bit of totally not sex wrestling, they went still.

Thorin was over him, but hardly touching him. His knee was between his legs, a few inches away from the place Bilbo would love any part of Thorin to go to, even his knee, if that's what he's into. He had Bilbo’s wrists pinned over his head on the armrest. Bilbo’s mind flew to the 5 tips and suddenly he knew what to do.

Thorin was starting to feel annoyed. What the hell was up with him? Then Bilbo said something that had Thorin wondering whether this was just a crazy alternate universe nightmare induced by a blow to the head.

‘Mmmmmmm’ Bilbo purred. ‘Dominate me. I’m all yours baby.’ Bilbo bit his lip for good measure. Nailed it.

He tried to go for a smoulder but the last time he saw his own face he was 10 and he had not been practising smoulders in the mirror much back then. To Thorin it looked more like a cross between constipation and a seizure. What the hell was going on?

‘What the fuck?’ Thorin exclaimed dropping Bilbo’s wrists as if they had burned him. Bilbo felt him pull away. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Fucking ‘5 tips for seducing your man’ more like ‘5 tips for alienating the only person in the world who you want to spend the rest of your life with and look like a complete moron while doing it’. Cosmo Radio could kiss his arse.

‘What the hell is going on Bilbo?’ Shit, ok how to explain this without sound mad or stupid or a hideous combination of the two. He searched his brain for excuse, a way to erase the past minute. Maybe he could hit Thorin over the head and tell him it was all a dream. That could work. Only problem is Bilbo wasn’t sure he could bring himself to bludgeon his boyfriend, even if it meant escaping the horrible mess he seemed to be in. Time for a clean-up in isle three, he thought, ok here goes.

‘I was…. I don’t…. You were and I was just.’ Dammit. All that seemed to fall from his mouth were the beginnings of what he was sure would be excellent explanations, filled with action, suspense and a juice murder mystery…wait that could work, Bilbo was acting oddly because he was stuck determining who the real murderer of Dr. David Black was. He had it narrowed down to either Miss Scarlett or Colonel Mustard. And on top of all that he also had to figure out the murder weapon and the room… wait shit that’s Cluedo, which would be a terrible excuse, it would never work, Thorin would see right through it. Bugger Bilbo, pull yourself together.

Before Bilbo could stop it the truth tumbled from his mouth, forming a pile of metaphorical and unapologetic sludge in his lap. ‘I was trying to seduce you. I heard on the radio, Cosmo Radio, ‘5 tips for seducing your man’ and it was just sort of on, I didn't look for it! It sounded interesting so I was listening to it, obviously after the watershed, I mean this stuff was totally not kid friendly, though it’s not like they couldn’t listen to it anyway, even if they did it obviously wouldn’t help them much. I have no idea where I’m going with this but I think I should stop now.’ Bilbo said in one breath.

‘5 tips for seducing a man?’ Thorin said cautiously. There was no way he had interpreted Bilbo’s rambling correctly.

‘5 tips for seducing YOUR man’ Bilbo sighed, counting of the tips on his hand in front of Thorin. ‘1. Eye contact, obviously couldn’t do that one. 2. Pomegranate boosts sex drive. 3. Physical contact, we do that all the time but I did it more.’

‘That’s why you wouldn’t let me go…and the juice. Jesus Bilbo’

‘4. The sneak peak, show a little skin’ he motioned to his sweater. Thorin bit his lip, though this was serious, and Bilbo would get super pissed at him laughing, it was kind of ridiculously hilarious at the same time. ‘tip 5. Let him take charge, men like to be in control.' And somehow everything made sense to Thorin in a way that a minute ago he didn't think was possible.

At Bilbo’s resigned sigh at the end of tip 5 Thorin lost his composure. He burst out laughing. He shoved some of his hand into his mouth to muffle the laughter. ‘Sorry’ he said breathing to appear calm and totally not laughing but the crack in his voice gave him away. Bilbo turned towards him raising an eyebrow. The older teen howled with laughter, clutching his stomach.

‘Great, now you’re laughing at me.’ Bilbo sulked, hands falling to his side in despair. He started to stand. He was going to his room, where he would lock himself away forever, and go straight to his secret stash of chocolate. He turned away when Thorin caught his hand, pulling his onto his lap. Bilbo made a disgruntled sound but Thorin wrapped his arms around him more tightly.

‘You’re adorable’ the dark haired teen whispered into his ear. He just rolled his eyes, then hid his face in Thorin’s neck.’Mmm stupid’ Bilbo mumbled into his shoulder.

‘Hey, none of that. You’re not stupid, never were, and you’re certainly not now. What you are, however, is unbelievably sweet.’

‘Sweet?’

‘Yep, sweet. Most people's 'man' does a bit of a wink and talks a little dirty but not my 'man'. Oh no sir my 'man' does research because he wants to let me know that he wants me. My 'man' is not your average Tom, Dick or Harry, and I love him even more for that.' Thorin pressed a soft kiss to Bilbo's cheeks as they spread in to a smile.

'Do you know what else it is? Your research?’ Thorin purred, leaning into Bilbo’s neck. He pressed biting kisses, nipping a little at the soft skin beneath his lips. Bilbo gasped indulgently, that was nice... very nice indeed.

‘What?’ he breathed. His mind was having trouble functioning properly at the moment.

‘It’s’ Thorin kissed his chin. ‘Very’ he kissed the curve of his jaw. ‘Very’ kissing his cheek. ‘Sexy’ Thorin purred into his ear, running his tongue along the shell. Someone moaned softly, it took Bilbo a moment of thinking really hard, did Thorin really have to be so distracting, to realise that it was him. He clapped a hand over his mouth, suddenly feeling quite shy.

They had snogged before, hands had wandered slightly, though always above clothes, this shouldn’t be so erotic to him, it was similar to things they’d already done. Thorin’s tongue on his ear was something new for them though, and Bilbo found it so hot. Once or twice he’d come close, kissing up Bilbo’s neck and up to his jaw, but the first time Thorin chickened out and the second time they were interrupted by a phone call from Thorin’s mum….yeah that had been a bit of a mood killer.

‘Hey’ Thorin muttered comfortingly. Thorin always said this, the amount of meaning a simple ‘hey’ could convey still astounded Bilbo. Something about the way he said it, his tone, always felt comforting to him. This ‘hey’ was apparently meant to say ‘don’t be embarrassed’ as Thorin moaned, similarly to how he had, into Bilbo’s ear.

Bilbo bit his lip in thought, as Thorin started sucking the ever so slightly pointed tips of his ears. Right, Bilbo thought, you wanted this Bilbo, if you’re gonna do it you’re gonna own it. At this thought he nodded slightly and removed himself from Thorin’s lap. The dark haired teen made a disgruntled sound, about to complain about the absence of boyfriend in his lap when Bilbo straddled his hips.

‘Looking for me?’ Bilbo smirked quirking an eyebrow. Thorin smiled then rolled his eyes around as though trying hard to think of an answer. ‘Errrrrmmm….yes’ he joked. Apparently sass came with horniness, yet another reason they were destined to be together, Bilbo’s mind supplied.

Their lips searched for each other, Thorin finding Bilbo’s first because he found it hard sometimes to find Thorin’s lips. The older teen’s lips surrounded the younger's. Bilbo slid his arms around Thorin’s neck as he ran his tongue over the crease of his lips, tasting his mouth.

Thorin welcomed Bilbo’s tongue into his mouth, sucking it in just the right way he knew Bilbo liked. Their mouths slid together languidly, tongues rolling in and out of each other’s mouths. After several minutes of snogging they pulled away for breath. Bilbo hadn’t really wanted to leave Thorin’s deliciously addictive mouth, what’s the point in breathing anyway?

Bilbo rested his face against Thorin’s, their noses brushing in a not so subtle eskimo kiss that made him grin. Running his hands down the Erebor School Hockey Club hoodie Thorin was wearing. He felt the print across the front, ‘Oakenshield’, it was a nickname he was given by his team for his skill as goalie.

‘You must be way too hot in this hoodie Thorin’ he said trying to control his voice, breathing slowly to try to keep the eagerness out of his voice. ‘Maybe you should take it off’ he shrugged slightly as if it didn’t matter whether he took it off or not, which of course he really did.

Thorin chuckled. ‘Oh yeah?’ That was pretty corny.

‘Ok, that was cheesy’

‘Yeah it was, listen just don’t try so hard. If you want something off just say so. Tip 5. Take charge.'

Bilbo groaned, closing his eyes 'please don't bring that up'. It was bad enough that it happen at all and now it appeared to be following him around, cock blocking him at every opportunity. It seemed that Cosmo Radio had not finished fucking up his non-existent sex life.

'Sorry' Thorin murmured, sounding not very sorry at all. 'I couldn't resist.' He said biting back his chuckle.

Bilbo sighed, rubbing his thumb along the rough stubble nervously.

'Bilbo you know we don't have to... We can go as far as you want, you know I won't get annoyed, right?'

'Yes, yes of course I know. And I do want you, I don't think I'm ready for full....erm what was the term Dwalin used? Birthday suit?' Thorin snorted. 'But I want more than we've done. It's just....' He frowned thoughtfully into a space just past Thorin's ear. He twisted his hands in his boyfriend’s hoodie before continuing. 'It’s just now its happening I'm afraid of doing it wrong.' He confessed.

The older boy brought his hand up to cover the hands on his hoodie. He rubbed his thumbs in soft circles on the back of his hands. He could almost feel some of Bilbo's tension melt at his touch.

'Don't forget that I have as much experience as you do. It might be me who does something wrong. You know I would never judge you if something went a little SOUTH.' Thorin punctuated that last part with a little ba dum bum tiss.

Bilbo snorted. 'A pun, really? Of all the times you actually make a funny joke and it's now.' He laughed throwing his hands in the air, still clutching Thorin's, deciding to bring them along with is exasperated hand gestures.

'Maybe that's the key to my humour, sexy times are the fuel for my proverbial joke tank.'

'God help us all!'

Thorin admired his face as he smiled. He loved this man so much. He loved the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. His laugh would show off his ever so slightly crooked white teeth in a huge toothy grin that Thorin just wanted to kiss.

So he did. Bilbo hummed into the short sweet kisses that Thorin peppered his lips with. Catching one of the kisses he deepened it. The reality of his situation fell down upon him again like a ton of bricks and he sighed to himself. Why did he have to be so nervous? He didn't want to be. It was finally happening and he was ballsing it up.

Thorin could feel his tension. He pulled away from the kiss settling his fingers beneath the younger teen chin.

'Can I let you in on a secret?' Thorin spoke in a hushed voice, leaning close into Bilbo's face. 'I'm just as nervous as you are.'

Bilbo snorted humourlessly. 'You don't act like it. How are you...?'

Thorin ran his hand over the side of Bilbo's face in a caress. 'When I feel a nervous, I just think about how much I love you, Bilbo. How much I want to be with you. How much I want you. You're all I want. Nothing else matters when it's just us.' Bilbo chocked slightly at Thorin's words.

He would always come up with the sweetest things when Bilbo wasn't expecting it, always catching him off guard. Thorin had made him feel a little better though, both knowing that Thorin felt what he felt and to focus on how much he loves and wants Thorin instead if what he might to wrong.

Bilbo chewed his tongue a little, swallowing loudly. ‘I would like you to take this off’ he spoke clearly, pulling on the worn fabric.

Thorin pecked a kiss to the younger teen’s nose and pulled the hem of his hoodie, pulling it over his head with a sigh of relief. It had been getting rather warm in there and not because of the moderately warm late August weather.

‘Can we take it a little slow? Because I can’t physically see you, I have to use my hands to see you. And you have to tell me what’s good, I can’t read your face.’ He ran his hands up the cotton of Thorin button up, up his chest and over his shoulders.

‘Of course’ Thorin answer almost automatically. Bilbo smiled, he was lucky to have this boy. He treated his blindness without the exaggerated sympathy people usually did, ‘oh you poor thing’ they say ‘and I’ll do that for you since you can’t’, it was annoying. No, Thorin was different, he respected Bilbo’s independence and helped him when he needed it, but never in a way that felt condescending.

He was pulled from his thoughts when his hands ran down shoulders to his arm and was presented with warm skin. Oh, this was a short sleeve shirt. He gasped, possibly louder than he intended. He had felt Thorin’s arms in passing before; he had put his arm around him plenty of times during the summer, but it wasn’t the same. He ran his hands down his boyfriend’s arms slowly, following the curves of muscle. He could feel heat running down his belly and straight into his pants

‘You like my arms?’ Thorin asked, watching his boyfriend’s facial expression as he ran his hands over his arm. Bilbo moaned softly in response kissing the other teen slowly. After a few minutes of tangling their tongues Bilbo pulled away ever so slightly.

‘Flex them for me?’ he sighed, raising an eyebrow. The way he said it left it as a mixture of a command but also a question. Thorin knew he could say no if he wanted to, which he didn’t, but he had a better idea than just obeying.

‘I will.’ Bilbo grinned. ‘If’ Bilbo’s smile fell a little, he was not expecting that. ‘If you take this off, sure I will’ Thorin continued, pulling the hem of Bilbo’s jumper slightly. Bilbo chewed his lip a little; he wasn’t wearing anything underneath the jumper. He wasn’t sure if Thorin realised this. It was going to have to come off eventually, he thought, pulling the jumper over his head.

He was greeted with a gasp then moan from his boyfriend. Apparently Thorin hadn’t realised that his jumper was his only layer. ‘I didn’t-‘ Thorin started, but was stopped by Bilbo’s finger over his lips.

‘I believe I was promised a display of my boyfriend muscles’ he whispered. Thorin smiled in response, pulling his arm up to the back of the sofa. Bilbo ran his hands over his forearm, as Thorin curled his arm. He rubbed and squeezed the thick hard bicep. He could feel himself growing harder; apparently he’s got a bit of a kink.

As Bilbo felt his right arm, Thorin ran his other hand down his chest, feeling the soft light hair that dusted his chest. His hands ran around the boy’s slightly chunky waist. Hands running up and down the soft skin of his back.

When Bilbo had had his fill of his bicep, he ran his hand back up to his shoulders, then falling to the first button of his shirt. He paused, asking permission. Thorin kissed him softly in response and Bilbo popped his buttons. Bilbo leant back as Thorin leant forward to pull his arms out of his shirt.

Bilbo ran his hands up Thorin’s torso, fingers running though the dark course hair that covered Thorin’s chest. Thorin sighed a little in relieve. He had been a little self-conscious about his body hair after Dwalin had told him he was like the bastardised son of a sasquch and cousin it from the Addams family. They pulled each other close, arm tightening around one and other. Bilbo gasped as their bare chests touched, the heat radiating from his boyfriends made him feel heady.

He pressed their mouths together hard, his hands tangling in Thorin’s dark hair. He was a starting to get desperate now. He wanted more, he wanted to be touched. As much as he liked kissing Thorin, his cock really wanted some attention around about now.

Thorin’s hands were on his thighs, rubbing around close to his inner thigh. Bilbo was unsure as to whether Thorin was unsure whether he could touch him higher up or whether he was just a tease. Bilbo knew what to do, no matter what Thorin’s plan may or may not be.

He ran his hands over Thorin’s, lacing their fingers. He pulled his hands away. Thorin looked a little hurt, until Bilbo place his hands over his arse. Bilbo moved his hands away, running them back into Thorin’s hair as he kissed him.

Bilbo moaned into the kiss as Thorin squeezed his hands around his arse, that was definitely hot. Suddenly Thorin was sliding down. Bilbo squeaked as he pulled him down on top of him, laying across the sofa. Somehow they seemed to be managing this manoover without breaking the kiss.

That was until Thorin lay of the television remote, turning the TV’s volume back on but this time in Italian. He pulled the control out from beneath him, switching the TV off. They could deal with the Italian later.

‘Sorry’ he murmured, before Bilbo covered his lips again and Thorin’s hands found his arse again. He needed more. Bilbo experimentally rolled his hips. They moaned. He could feel the outline of Thorin’s dick through his jean. It was unbelievable erotic.

He popped the button on Thorin’s jeans. ‘Is this…?’ he started trailing off, letting his hand talk for him. He had two fingers just beneath the hem of his jeans, stroking the skin softly, awaiting invitation from his boyfriend.

‘Yes’ Thorin breathed enthusiastically in a rush of hot air. Bilbo opened his jeans further, sliding his hand slowly underneath his boyfriend’s underwear. His hand shook a little. He wanted so badly but that didn’t stop his nerves.

They gasped in unison when his hand found what it was looking for, Bilbo had gasped in surprise whereas Thorin had gasped in pleasure. Thorin was hot and heavy in the palm of his hand. Bilbo leant forward, searching for Thorin’s lips, as he wrapped his hand around him. Thorin met him in the middle, moaning into his mouth.

Bilbo’s mouth fell to Thorin’s neck, sucking a bruise as he began to stroke him. Bilbo just kept reminding himself that it was just like when he masturbated, it was the same just it was someone else’s cock. He did what felt good on him, running his thumb over the head.

Thorin was moaning loudly now, Bilbo couldn’t be sure whether he was playing it up for his sake or whether he just was this noisy in bed, but he appreciated it anyway, deciding that Thorin’s moans of pleasure may be his new favourite sound in the whole world.

It was not long until Thorin took Bilbo's free hand and squeezed it, stuttering out ‘Bilbo, I’m- oh god’. He was going to cum. Bilbo obviously understood, pulling faster and harder on Thorin’s cock.

Thorin let out a cry of ecstasy as he finished onto Bilbo’s hand. His breath heavy, Thorin let his fall back onto the headrest, his eyes closed as Bilbo led him through his orgasm.

After a few minutes of blissful silence, Thorin felt Bilbo kiss his neck and lean back away from him. He opened his eyes lazily, watching Bilbo pull his hand from his jean. Bilbo lifted his hand to his mouth when Thorin grabbed his wrist.

‘Wait that’s got-‘ Thorin started to warn, worried that Bilbo would accidentally end out wiping it on his face, which was not really the way he wanted to introduce his cum to Bilbo's face.

‘I know’ Bilbo responded, licking some cum off his palm, tasting it curiously. It was not as bad as he’d expected, he kind of liked it actually.

‘Fuck, do you have any idea how hot that is?’

‘I don’t. Why don’t you tell me?’ he purred. Apparently giving Thorin a hand job had made him cockier than usual, no pun intended.

Thorin chuckled darkly, rubbing the front of Bilbo’s trousers. ‘I could show you’

‘Yes please’ Bilbo moaned, moving to hide his face in Thorin’s shoulder, when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

‘No I want to see you.’ Bilbo gulped a little. What if he made weird sex faces? Then, come to think of it, he hadn’t seen his face for years, he could look like he's making a weird sex face all the time.

Those thoughts faded to the back of his mind as Thorin popped open the button on his jeans and began to slowly pull down the fly. Bilbo let out a sigh of relief. His cock had been straining almost painfully against his tight jeans. Hearing Thorin moan and thrash as he worked him had made him unbelievably hard.

Thorin hooked his hands around the waist of Bilbo's jeans and boxers, sliding them down, his hands running done the curve of his thighs and his ass beneath his jeans.

Thorin pulled Bilbo from his boxers, his cock trying to get hard again at the sight in front of him. Bilbo was bigger than him, thicker and longer and it made his mouth water. Of course Thorin was not expert on cock size but he thought Bilbo was pretty big. The only reference he really had was his own and the ones he had seen in porn, and porn was not a very trustworthy reference. Despite this Thorin felt that Bilbo's cock was porn worthy.

He wrapped his hand around the other boys cock and squeezed gently. He was rewarded with an 'oh Thorin' and a small moan for his efforts. Thorin raised his knees behind Bilbo, letting him lean back as he moaned softly.

Thorin set a pace, stroking the smaller boy from root to tip. Experimentally he twisted his wrist on the upstroke. Bilbo gasped loudly, grabbing the sofa for support.

That gave Thorin an idea. He took Bilbo's hand currently resting on his chest. He lace their fingers together, holding his arm out to support his boyfriend as he started to pull faster.

Thorin was going to try and catch most of Bilbo's cum in his hand, to make less cleaning up to do. But then he realised how much of his own cum was already smeared in his chest where Bilbo had laid his hand. He might as well let Bilbo cum onto his chest, he thought, he was already going to need to wash up anyway.

As Bilbo grew closer he began a mantra of 'oh god's and 'oh Thorin's. Without warning Bilbo came. His head fell back as he cried out, Thorin's name on his lips.

Hot cum spurted across Thorin's chest, as he stroked him though. Bilbo seemed frozen in a position of ecstasy. His back was arched, his head still fallen back with is mouth open in an 'oh' formation.

Then suddenly he seemed to unfreeze, moving to fall forward into Thorin.

'Wait, don't' Thorin warned, lifting Bilbo softly from on top of him and placing him back on the sofa. He stood up, despite his ever so slightly wobbly legs. He was about to head towards the downstairs bathroom when a hand caught his.

'Where are you going?' Bilbo questioned, a confused but tired look on his face. He didn't want Thorin to go anywhere, right now should be time for cuddles.

'Dont worry I'm coming back' he reassured him, leaning down to press a kiss to Bilbo's forehead. Bilbo let out a sigh of happiness when he heard the bathroom door close.  
A wide grin split across his face. Despite the whole ‘5 tips’ debacle, Bilbo had totally got what he wanted. Smiling like a cat that had gotten its cream, and had also had sex with it’s very sexy boyfriend. Bilbo sighed again, suddenly realising that he was cold and very much exposed.

He tucked himself back into his pants, buttoning up his trousers. He started searching around for his jumper to warm himself up. He remembered what had happened to it and groaned. His jumper was all the way on the other side of the room after Thorin threw it a bit too enthusiastically. It was probably not really that far away but right now it felt like it was half way across the world.

He groaned again, running his hand through his hair. He was debating whether he was cold enough to get up and feel around for the jumper when he his hand brushed Thorin’s hoodie. Could he? That was something boyfriends did right? Wear each other’s clothes?

Bilbo shrugged, pulling the hoodie on. It was way too big for him but it was warm and smelled lusciously like Thorin. Bilbo curled up tucking his hands into the big pockets. He pushed his nose into the collar, taking a deep breath, smelling his boyfriends scent. Thorin usually smelt of Old Spice, a little musky and something indistinguishable but sweet.  
Bilbo must have dozed off because next thing he knew Thorin was sliding next to him. After a little coordination, a little clumsy on Bilbo’s part, they found themselves in a comfortable position. Thorin had his arms wrapped around Bilbo whose head lay on his chest.

‘You’re wearing my hoodie’ Thorin stated, rubbing his hand up and down his boyfriend’s arm.

‘You weren’t using it’ Bilbo yawned. Cuddling with Thorin often made him sleepy, but he was especially tired now. It had been a long day. Thorin snorted quietly in response. He reached forward for the remote, trying his best not to disturb Bilbo. He failed. Bilbo groaned in displeasure as Thorin moved beneath him. He just managed to reach the remote before settling back into the sofa.

‘Sorry bub’ he muttered into Bilbo’s curls, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. ‘Right, let’s see if we can turn this TV back to English shall we. I have no idea how I managed to do that.’ Bilbo chuckled sleepily.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments welcome.


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